Lets continue the discussion from yesterday. Brain or mental fog is pretty serious. It really effects 
the success and enjoyment of life.
Yesterday I discussed traditional therapy and healing with sound via Centerpointe’s Holosync technology. There were some healing programs. Energy healing can really help people who are affected from childhood trauma.
Yesterday I talked about childhood trauma and the ensuing brain or mental “fog”. I 
shared with you the gift of a clear day.
Today, I would like to share with you what it is like being in the “fog” and steps I took (and take) to get clear.
Think about the different real life “fogs” you have experienced. Was it around your house, or in a field? How about driving in the fog? What about a fog at night? How about a snowy foggy night?
One time during a meeting, someone shared that she felt like she was in a “brown-out”. A brown-out is when there is a shortage of power and the 
lights dim. It isn’t as bad as a black-out, hence the term “brown-out”. I knew exactly what she was talking about, only I called it a “fog”.
When you have childhood trauma in your life, you most likely had many feelings. Of course it wasn’t safe to express those feelings. So most of us just held them inside.
Anger is an OK e
motion to have. It is a guide that something is amiss in your life and needs your attention. Children of trauma experience feelings. However they are dismissed and not validated by the adults in charge. It is so bad that the child dismisses them but they can’t get rid of the emotion. It just gets stuffed. And stuffed. And stuffed… and so on. You get my drift.
Well 
that was quite a childhood experience. I lived in fear most of the time. My self esteem was fragile and very low at best. I learned some things during my first twenty years.
I learned about fear. I was afraid of everything: to fail and to live. People deal with fear in different way. One way is to fight, another to flee and a third way by freezing. What I did was freezing and practiced being invisible.
Childhood trauma will impact a person for their life. You can heal but you can’t make up things that you missed. It is the healing that is importa
nt and moving forward from today that is important.
Lets talk about another issue that had a great impact on my life and my view of life. I believe that this happened the summer between first and second grade or age six. It was sexual abused by a neighbor who lived behind our house. As far as I can figure, it was daily for much of that summer.
I think that I will spend a blog entry on each part or issue that has set up the framework for my life. The three challenges began around the ages of five to seven and continued to give and give for years and years.
I said that i didn’t have many memories of my childhood and I don’t. I have a very poor memory. I suspect that the poor memory is defense mechanism on my part. But I do remember some interesting clips. This one is about growing up in an alcoholic home.
I did not come a crossed forgiveness by accident. It was earned. Like many people my past is splattered with good and difficult experiences. Based on these experiences, I made assumptions about people and life. I pretty much have experienced a life base on these assumptions, decisions and beliefs.
I have found that life has been a struggle. I have been depressed much of the time. Why? What happened?
I have entered a 30 day blog challenge. It will get me motivated to do some blogging that I have so neatly avoided.
This blog is about forgiveness or how to let go of the past. It is about moving into and living a joyful life.
We all have a right to be happy. I am not talking about a drug, alcohol, or TV induced happiness. I mean the real thing… that sunshine radiating from your heart joy no matter what is going on in your life.